Read and share your thinking about the following poem entitled "The Angel in the House" by Coventry Patmore (1854). Complete this assignment using these steps:
1. Identify words and phrases within the poem that speak to you or stand out to you the most and indicate why you felt this way.
2. Ask specific question(s) about the poem. Do NOT ask: What does it mean?
3. Relate a part of the poem to the novel The Awakening. Be specific.
4. Attempt to respond to a classmates' question from #2 OR respond to or extend a thought one of your classmates has had about the poem from #1.
The Angel in the House
Man must be pleased; but him to please
Is woman's pleasure; down the gulf
Of his condoled necessities
She casts her best, she flings herself.
How often flings for nought, and yokes
Her heart to an icicle or whim,
Whose each impatient word provokes
Another, not from her, but him;
While she, too gentle even to force
His penitence by kind replies,
Waits by, expecting his remorse,
With pardon in her pitying eyes;
And if he once, by shame oppress'd,
A comfortable word confers,
She leans and weeps against his breast,
And seems to think the sin was hers;
Or any eye to see her charms,
At any time, she's still his wife,
Dearly devoted to his arms;
She loves with love that cannot tire;
And when, ah woe, she loves alone,
Through passionate duty love springs higher,
As grass grows taller round a stone.
1. The first phrase that stuck out to me was the title of the poem, "The Angel in the House." This title indicates that the primary job of a women is to spend her time at home and comfort her husband whenever he felt troubled or stressed. The next phrase that stood out was "Man must be pleased; but him to please is woman's pleasure." Patmore suggests that women find it pleasing when they satisfy their husbands both physically and emotionally. This statement suggests that he believes that women do not need any kind of materialistic item or take up any other activity to feel pleased as long as they cater to their husbands' needs. He does not seem to promote any other role for women besides pleasing their husbands. He continues to advocate his opinion by stating "She leans and weeps against his breast, and seems to think the sin was hers." Women are weak in Patmore's eyes and need men to comfort then when they believe that they have sinned or done something wrong. The poem portrays the ideal marriage where women are responsible for pleasing their husbands and remaining faithful to them no matter what happens.
ReplyDelete2. Has the wife in this poem sinned somehow? She seeks forgiveness from him, but what has she done to ask for this?
3. In The Awakening, Edna at the end of the novel discovers her true identity, but at the beginning her husband expected her to be an angel of the house. Her husband believed that she should have found ways to comfort him and found it rude when she did not: "He thought it very discouraging that his wife, who was the sole object of his existence, evinced so little interest in things which concerned him, and valued so little his conversation"(Chopin 12). In Patmore's poem the ideal women found joy in tending to their husbands needs and in Mr. Pontellier's case his need consisted of his wife listening to his stories. However, Edna does not care about what he has to tell her and this goes against the norm that Mr. Pontellier and "The Angel in the House" have grown to accept. Women were suppose to represent purity and devote their life to the service of their husbands: "They were women who idolized their children, worshiped their husbands, and esteemed it a holy privilege to efface themselves as individuals and grow wings as ministering angels" (Chopin 16). Like the poem, both pieces of literature emphasize how women should be the "angel in the house." Women were pure and self sacrificing to their husbands to ensure that all went well in the home so that their husbands could focus on their jobs without worrying about the home falling into disarray. Both The Awakening and "The Angel in the House" have male characters that support the domestic role of women.
4. In response to your question for Part 2, my guess is that the wife hasn’t actually done anything wrong; it’s a classic case of a woman apologizing for a man’s behavior where the man is clearly at fault. Her apology is, in Patmore’s eyes, a way for the husband to feel better about whatever it is he did; yelling at his wife, hitting her, or simply treating her like an object rather than a human being. It’s a wife’s “duty” to love her husband no matter what he says or does, according to Patmore. This also describes the emotional weakness attributed to women in the Victorian Era; women are so vulnerable that when their husbands “forgive” them for their alleged sin, they can’t help but cry and break down in gratitude.
Delete4. In reply to your response #1, I agree that the title of the poem, "The Angel in the House" sticks out. I agree that it means that the primary duty of a wife is to serve her husband, but I also interpret it as the woman is supposed to be this perfect creature. She is supposed to be gentle and graceful and well spoken and beautiful and ideal, just as an angel would be. Clearly, such a person does not exist; everyone has flaws and no one is perfect. So having this be the title of the poem leads me to believe that this ideal woman ceases to exist, and solidifies the argument that men placed too high of expectations on their wives during this time period.
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Delete1. Before I researched Coventry Patmore, I thought this poem had been written ironically by a woman, so deluded is Mr. Patmore’s view of women. It’s all fairly disturbing; when he says “While she, too gentle even to force/His penitence by kind replies”, Patmore is essentially implying that when a husband is speaking to his wife in a hurtful way, or treating her badly, her only possible response is to remain silent and endure it; to wait until he “A comfortable word confers”. In this distinctly un-feminist view of women, a wife’s mood is entirely dependent upon her husband’s whims and opinions of her. An ideal wife ought to consider herself to blame for a husband’s temper or bad moods; “She leans and weeps against his breast,/And seems to think the sin was hers”. Obviously, Patmore’s “perfect” woman isn’t emotionally or intellectually intelligent enough to realize that she exists separately from men, with her own, independent feelings. And apparently, Patmore considers it the duty of women to love their husbands even when their feelings go unreciprocated; “Through passionate duty love springs higher,/As grass grows taller round a stone”. I’m guessing he didn’t hang out with Kate Chopin on weekends.
ReplyDelete2. What exactly does Patmore mean when he says that a woman might “[yoke]/ Her heart to an icicle or whim”? If he considered women the “angels” of the house, what does he consider men?
3. Kate Chopin’s descriptions of Edna’s friend Adele Ratignolle are remarkably close to Patmore’s description of an ideal wife; she is “the fair lady of our dreams” and the “embodiment of every womanly grace and charm”. She likes sewing and talks frequently about being pregnant and having more children. Edna, on the other hand, is far from the ideal wife; her mood is almost completely independent of her husband’s approval or disapproval, especially by the middle of the novel. She refuses to love him when he treats her as if she is his possession, as Mr. Patmore would recommend, and eventually realizes that she doesn’t love her husband at all. Doing her household duties and pleasing men has never been and never will be Edna’s “pleasure”. She is too independent to exist as the kind of one-dimensional, servile, patient, and angelic woman that Patmore (and presumably many other men of his time) considered perfect. I feel really, really bad for his (three! not at the same time, though) wives.
1. The first lines "Man must be pleased; but him to please/ Is woman's pleasure" really stood out to me. To paraphrase, it is a demand and expectation that men are pleased by their wife and remain happy, but for a man to please his wife and make her happy, it is a treat. This phrase captures the hypocrisy and double standard that women endured in the 19th century. It was the duty and expectation for a woman to keep her husband happy and make sure the household runs smoothly, and oftentimes, her feelings and happiness were compromised. The phrase "She leans and weeps against his breast, / And seems to think the sin was hers" also stands out to me. The first line makes me feel as if women are portrayed to be weak, which in fact, they were. They were inferior to men and despite the fact that they did a fair share of the work necessary for survival, such as taking care of the household and the children, they were weak and needed a strong man to survive. The second line makes me feel as if women in the 19th century were almost brainwashed - they were so accustomed to obeying their husband's orders and living in his shadow that even a wrong move on his part could somehow be twisted to make the woman look at fault, and she would believe it without question. This just exemplifies the harsh reign that husbands in this time period had on their wives, and in many ways can be related to The Awakening.
ReplyDelete2. I am a little bit confused about the last three lines of the poem. My interpretation is that the woman is sort of drowning in her husband and his lifestyle. Like I mentioned before, almost as if she is brainwashed into serving him which is called "passionate duty" as said in the poem. But what does Patmore mean when he says "And when, ah woe, she loves alone?" Is he implying that the woman will be lost without her husband shall they separate for some reason? I'm just not exactly sure what this line means.
3. In line 4 of the poem "She casts her best, she flings herself" strongly sticks out to me as characteristic of Edna Pontellier. When Mr. Pontellier returned home late from a night of gambling, he tells Edna that their son has a high fever and needed attention. Although Edna is confident that Raoul "had gone to bed perfectly well," she "sprang out of bed" to check on him (Chopin 12-13). This is a perfect example of women doing exactly what their husband says regardless of their own intuition. Instead of standing up to her husband or discussing the situation with him, Edna decides to follow her orders because as the poem says, she must give her best.
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DeleteIn reply to your question for part 2, I am guessing that those three lines mean that the woman will love her husband even if he has long passed from this world. I don't believe that the poet believes that women will become lost if they and their husbands part ways rather they will come to love their husbands even more if they part ways. I am assuming that the author believes that a woman's love for her husband is eternal and that she will never stop loving him. That's what I believe the line, "As grass grows taller round a stone" symbolizes. The stone represents the husband who has passed away or left, but the grass growing symbolizes the love of the wife and how she will always remain faithful and always surround her husband.
ReplyDelete1. The line, “She leans and weeps against his breast/And seems to think the sin was hers” stood out to me. This is saying that women are weak, which was how they were viewed in this time. They must also take responsibility for the wrongdoings of their husband, that any situation could be turned around and said to be the wife’s fault, not her husband’s. Another line that stood out was, “Man must be pleased; but him to please/Is woman’s pleasure.” This line implies that it is nothing but normal for a wife to please her husband, but for a husband to please his wife, is something out of the ordinary. A woman’s emotions were very often taken advantage of during this period, as she wanted to love and be loved, and in order to have that, she must maintain specific standards.
ReplyDelete2. What exactly do the last two lines of the poem, “Through passionate duty love springs higher/As grass grows taller round a stone,” imply?
3. Before Edna was an independent woman who found her true identity, she too was a victim of the stereotyped wife as described in the poem. Edna’s husband expected her to behave in a certain manner, as any husband would expect of his wife. He also wished that she remain faithful to him and to only please him. Edna always took care of their children and household, and when she starts to discover her true identity, she betrays these duties, which in part is also betraying her husband. The poem is about how woman of that era were supposed to act and behave like, how literally perfect they must be in order to be a satisfactory wife. Edna upheld this view of woman in the very beginning of the The Awakening, and this poem in great part is a reflection of how Edna tried her best to please her husband, and how she just could not bring herself to be a part of the stereotypical role of woman in society.
4.) I believe the last two lines of the poem focus on the thought of the husbands death, the "stone" being his tomb stone. This can be inferred due to the line before these two "And when, ah woe, she loves alone," Loving alone inferring to his death, and the duty that she has to love him to death and beyond
Delete1.) The words and phrase that stuck out to me in the poem was a few lines but I felt the most thought provoking; "Waits by, expecting his remorse,With pardon in her pitying eyes, And if he once, by shame oppress'd,A comfortable word confers, She leans and weeps against his breast,And seems to think the sin was hers;" It suggests that once the husband has done wrong, the wife waits for an apology which she will always accept. It represents the dynamic shown in the poem, a woman, property, and the husband, the owner. Never wrong is he unless he says so and even then she takes it as her own fault, trying to keep the safety and security she has in this one dymentional relationship.
ReplyDelete2.) What do the lines "How often flings for nought, and yokes Her heart to an icicle or whim" mean? her heart an icicle, cold and solid and unrelenting but so caring later in the poem, only confusion...
3.) Edna shows little regard to her husbands feelings as the wife in this poem does, in several instances Ednas husband shows frustration to this. Especially in regards to the children, as when Raoul gets ill and Edna is hesitant to check, insistant on his being well. Its most prevalent however when Ednas husband thinks, "He thought it very discouraging that his wife, who was the sole object of his existence, evinced so little interest in things which concerned him, and valued so little his conversation"(Chopin 12). Its very different from the woman in the poem who hangs on every word of her husband and will "Always be his wife" as she "Or any eye to see her charms, At any time, she's still his wife Dearly devoted to his arms; She loves with love that cannot tire;" a deep and everlasting love that she holds for her husband allows her complete devotion.
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